You ever felt like, you’ve met the perfect person? You’re just laying there in bed with your eyes closed, thinking about what you need in life, or at least what you think you need, and then it hits you. This perfect guy/girl that you feel like you’ve legit met. And you try to remember who it is, but you can’t seem to put a finger on their face or their name. But you know they exist. And they’re perfect. That’s how I literally feel right now.
Let’s be honest here though, all my relationships except my most recent one have been long distance. And having a relationship with someone who was actually close to me, in the same town. It brought something things to light, like the ability to be held or to hold hands, wiping away each other’s tears and hugging your significant other. It’s an amazing feeling, and yet I’m so comfortable with long distance. Because it gives me space, it gives me focus. I can get to know the other person without getting too distracted by their eyes, or hair, their smile. Yes I can see all these through a video chat, but I like to listen. The laughter, their tone of voice, how goofy or serious they sound on a daily basis, and how passionately or blandly they can summarize their day, or past few days, or week. I get to fall in love with them, because being on the Internet…it brings out people. But it also gives a mask. You can be whoever you want and say whatever you want. It’s rare you find an honest person, but I’ve found quite a group of them and I’ve stuck with them the past few years, and we’ve added a few people and lost a few people as well.
But anyways back to my point. I can’t shake the feeling I’ve met someone perfect. Perfect for me that is. The fact I can’t remember who they are frightens me. It could be someone I talk with on a daily basis or someone I’ve spoken to for a few days, or even one. Or it could be the universe putting an image in my mind that my perfect person exists and I’ll meet them soon. (Which is making me very..anxiously excited haha) And I can lay here in bed, and so fluidly imagine, how their hands will feel against mine when I hold them, closing my eyes and falling asleep right next to them. Their punk rock, dorky, sensitive loving attitude and their spark that will make me smile. I can imagine it so fluidly. Like I’ve lived it before, or like it’s going to happen soon and the universe is giving me the heads up. And I’m excited and scared, because I don’t know when or where it’s going to happen. If I meet (or reunite if we’ve already met) them here in NC, or when I move to NY after high school to be with my dad. I feel like this person is going to be real and in my life very soon, and they’re going to ruin my life. Show me the most perfect things, say the the perfect words, let me fall for them and they’ll catch me with open arms…and disappear.
I can’t even remember or think of who this person is, and I’m already afraid of losing them.
Eight nation 
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