As I sit here late at night, scribbling away on my sketch pad and hopelessly trying to type words that I can barely spell without hitting back, I smile and think. Maybe its the coffee that keeps me hyper (most likely), or maybe it’s the thought of him. The thoughts of knowing how committed he is to a silly girl like me, who lives states and states away. To a girl who, if you look at a map, doesn’t seem like that far away, but then again those 300+ miles certainly change your point of view when you can’t hold them each day.

But then again, I think. Maybe it’s because he’s so far, everything is so much more special. The fact there’s always some sort of romance, and if not romance, complete bliss from just being there. Like best friends who haven’t seen each other in a lifetime, and just goofing around is enough. Just a few flirty words is enough. Just imagination and knowing their heart reaches out to you miles and miles away is…almost enough. But it’s more than enough too. The longing, the wishing, the waiting. It will all be worth it in the end and we both know.

Oh the anxiousness, that the day we will meet is getting nearer and nearer each day, yet at the same time, it is so far away. But we stay strong, we stay focused. We live our lives separately, but together at the same time. Its late at night where these thoughts come to me, where they don’t make sense but they make so much sense to me at the same time, and so I put them down in words that other people can read. Words that people can either get completely lost, or completely understand. Words that can either touch  your heart or go right over your head. But my thoughts, as I put them down in this post, still linger on him. My mind is in a permanent state of absolute wonder. How I’ve met this boy completely by chance on a cruise ship we both were surprised we could even get on. How we both thought each other to be just another person to meet and forget until a few days later when we actually connected. How by chance both our families managed to save just enough to get on the same cruise at the same time, so that we could kiss and fall into a sense tingling wonder under those colorful dance lights, with drowning out words that I can’t even remember from the music that loudly played.

And here we are, he’s most likely asleep. Dreaming, while I sit here in the dark, drinking coffee, sketching, typing..Presents waiting to be delivered, thoughts waiting to be shared, ideas forming in my mind as I plan and plan for the upcoming holidays. And I think..

These things are temporary replacements

Written words soon to be spoken.
Typing hands soon to be interlocked.
Drawings soon to be pictures.
Shipping soon to be personally given.

And all these will be even more special. Because I know I will be so thankful, because I will remember now. This time where everything was tested by patience. And I will cherish the immediacy, I will cherish the physical presence. Each little moment shared over the internet, Skype, Facebook, Snapchat…whether it just be sitting in silence together, soon to be sitting in silence together in person. I will forever be in a sense of wonder. Forever in appreciation of the present. Forever feeling as if I am dreaming.

Because these thoughts, these thoughts make me realize who we are, what we are, and how special he is to me. And I can’t wait to personally look into his eyes and feel arms around me once more.